Dear freshie me,

Hey, listen, I know.

I know how it feels to feel like you have too many people to answer to. Your parents expect you to turn out a certain way, align a certain somewhere politically, spend your time on certain hobbies, get work done a certain way, say certain things around your friends and classmates. You always feel like you have to keep up this image of yourself as bubbly and boy-crazy and dramatic. You won’t let anyone too deep in, because you’re scared they’ll leave if they don’t like what they see. You feel like an alien who can never really connect with anyone else.

I know what it’s like. I’ve (quite literally) been there before.

I think one of the hardest parts of high school is just holding out — remembering that no matter how bad things might seem, and how long and unending the road through those bad things seems, there is always good along the way, and it’s always worth it to continue.

Yes, you will make it through high school. You can do it. You won’t believe the amount of unexpected experiences you’ll have — ones that’ll change your idea of who you are, and encourage you to see yourself as dynamic and ever-changing. Your prom dress went viral on TikTok, where before you told yourself you were too ugly to ever go viral. You’re learning Japanese, where before you told yourself you can’t commit to anything. You’re allowing yourself to explore your gender identity, where before you immersed yourself in femininity to seem more valuable to others. You willingly and actively seek out history documentaries, where before you slept through every history class. You wanna get in on all that? Better hold out for it then.

I will also use this letter to tell you that mentors are closer than you think. You might not think there is anyone who understands you, but trust me when I say there are, and they’re not always where you’d expect them to be. Even if you can’t tell yourself that, your mentors will show you it’s okay to be a trans person in STEM, or neurodivergent (seriously, it’s not a swear word), or not have figured out exactly what your deal is. You’ve got people who are on your team and will help you so much, and you haven’t even met some of them yet.

Please don’t feel so guilty for expressing emotions, and stop telling yourself that you “didn’t realize young enough” or “didn’t have it bad enough for it to count” or “have the wrong MBTI type”. It’s a waste of time. Please don’t exploit yourself as a way to cope. And please don’t thank men for giving you the bare minimum of respect. It’s just sad. And please stick your ground a bit more. And please read the DSM-5, you’re more borderline than the George Washington Bridge. And please keep being this cool and funny, though I know you will ;).

Cheers,

Senior you (AEDT '22).